Loserstuck
by My Vantilene
Summary: This was written as the back up material for a threat. For the sake of brevity, let's call it a Revengefic. If you don't like OC trolls based off of people who sadly exist in real life, then don't read.


Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. Let the games _begin. _

_This whole story is a wordy form of revenge for my friend, Brandon, who wrote a fan fiction about our friends Mary and John. _

_It's about time someone threw him into the limelight._

Chapter I: The First Chapter.

A young troll stands in his respiteblock. It just so happens that today, the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season's equinox, yeah, yeah, yeah. His name. What the heck is it?

Oh. Oh, haha. Creative.

But you're kind of DEAD WRONG. And kind of SILLY. Since, guess what?

You're him.

Before you start crying at your great misfortune, why don't you learn more about yourself?

Your name is BRANDON WARD, and as we previously avoided mentioning, today is of sparing importance. Oh, yeah. You also have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for GOOD AND BAD ANIME ALIKE. Sometimes, you are teased for it, but it's only by SILLY WRIGGLERS WITH NOTHING TO LIVE FOR BUT DISNEY CHANNEL RERUNS. Not any of your GREAT FRIENDS, who make a habit of BEATING UP ANY OF THE SILLY WRIGGLERS WHO OPPOSE YOUR SOMETIMES QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN ASIAN ANIMATION. You like to SCREECH IN PUBLIC and are often rebuked for it, but you don't give A FLYING FRICK BASKET, you do want you want. You're a bit of a loose cannon, and tend to either STARE AT YOUR FOES MENACINGLY UNTIL THEY DON'T CARE ANYMORE, or SCREECH WILDLY SOMEMORE. You only talk to most of your friends through Trollian, because SOME are terrified to come face to face with YOU, while MOST don't want to be seen in public with YOU. But NOT TO WORRY, all of them still kind of love you. Because you're just a LOVEABLE PUNK. You want to be a NINJA when you grow up, but, out of care for your wellbeing, MOST of your PALS tell you it's a FREAKING TERRIBLE IDEA. You don't even dignify their STUPID WISDOM with a reply, you just STARE MENACINGLY, but since they're nowhere near you, you only succeed in LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT and further disappointing your LUSUS, which already had NO FAITH IN YOU. You believe your LUSUS to be female and a stupid ram, because since she wasn't satisfied with your UNFATHOMABLE LET DOWN OF AN EXISTENCE, she picked another troll to raise along with you. We will get to her in a moment. You also frequently make incredible plans with your friends that you know ARE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO ACTUALLY DO, so you NEVER ACTUALLY DO THEM. You life is a little EMPTY like that. Your trolltag is gleekNarutard and you speak in a very UNpreDICTable MANNer, conSISting OF CRECendOS anD DEcrecENDos THAT someHOW dePEND on SYLlabLES. Honestly, Microsoft Word just finds it irritating.

This morning, you're getting ready to play a game with your GOOD CHUMPS. But none of them seem to be online yet.

In the meantime, what will your bad self do?

You walk into the troll's respiteblock that was PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED TO HAVE BEEN SECOND PICKED BY YOUR SHARED LUSUS. She seems to be sleeping at the moment. Might as well get her introduction out of the way.

You are suddenly the troll sleeping. What's your name?

Okay. Asleep. I get it. I'll just take over from here then, so that there's no more unnecessary shenanigans.

Your name is regrettably MARIANNA BACALLAO, and as was previously mentioned to have been PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, you are the second troll in history to have been picked by a lusus along with another CHUMP. The first was decades ago, and you have this CRAZY IDEA that she is your ANCESTOR. Despite the insane delusions of GRANDUER you have, you and your (…uh, what's the word?...you like to call him your NII-SAN and claim that it's a quadrant in existence, which is silly because EVERYONE knows there's only FOUR) NII-SAN both have MAROON BLOOD, the lowest in the ALTERNIAN CASTE SYSTEM. Honestly, you may have FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES, but you're kind of considered dirt. You don't care about that, and refuse to feel as self-conscious about it as your NII-SAN, but it does concern you from time to time when it threatens your RELATIONSHIPS, which you have a confusing many of. Also yours and a confusing many of, are INTERESTS. You're a bit of a HISTORY NERD, and if you were awake, you'd CRINGE at that last poorly-worded sentence because you are also a bit too PEDANTIC, which is good sometimes because of your dream to be a PLAY WRITE, or really any kind of WRITER, but also bad when talking to some of your GREENBLOODED FRIENDS, who admittedly sometimes GET ON YOUR VERY LAST NERVE. You still love them, though. You love all your CHUMPS, even when you DESPERATELY WANT TO PUNCH THEM RIGHT IN THE BLACKROM KISSER. You also tend to overthink things and psychoanalyze situations to the point WHERE YOUR CHUMPS DESPERATELY WANT TO PUNCH YOUR RIGHT IN THE BLACKROM KISSER, which, for future reference, is a place I'D RATHER NOT DISCLOSE THE LOCATION TO. You have an annoyingly naggy DISPOSITION TO SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE, and like to express yourself in mediums NO ONE IS EVER ALLOWED TO SEE. You have your SECRETS, among which are many hidden talents NO ONE IS EVER ALLOWED TO KNOW ABOUT. Your trolltag is hopelessAuthor and you speak in a way that is _e_x_t_r_a_v_a_g_a_n_t_l_y _f_l_a_m_b_o_y_a_n_t _a_n_d _v_o_l_u_m_i_n_o_u_s_ a_l_l _t_h_e_ t_i_m_e_. _

What will you — oh, oh, you're going to wake up now? Great, thanks, you do that.

But sadly now you are anticlimactically another troll. Oh, well. I can be flexible. What's your name?

No, that is not your name. Who do you think you're fooling at this point?

Pfft.

Running-gags.

Your name is SYDNEY WAGNER, and, man, do you have a lot of INTERESTS. You enjoy dreaming up fantastical creatures that you have dubbed KOALAS, and believe in even though NO ONE ELSE DOES. You hate it when people pronounce your last name SWAGNER. It is NOT COOL. Despite being another RUSTBLOOD, you are slightly higher on the HEMOSPECTRUM than both of those other chumps. Despite your low footing on the totem pole, you manage to feign egocentricity along with BRANDON, and together trick ANIME-HATING WRIGGLERS that you are CAPRICIOUS by repetitively saying you are THE STAR. And indeed, it IS YOU. And you manage to fool MANY PEOPLE. You are kept on an island in the middle of the ocean because when you were first hatched, you fooled a PURPLEBLOOD LUSUS into picking you. The act of unconscious REBELLION ON YOUR PART caused SIGNLESS FOLLOWERS to stage an uprising, so the ever-incompetent Alternian government sent you to live on that island with an assigned custodian and the order that you never leave. You never have. They did this because they assumed a sea-dweller's lusus would EAT YOUR DELICIOUS FLESH AND DRINK YOUR CHOCOLATE BLOOD, but none have tried anything _fishy_ thus far, because of course they know better than that. You attribute this to your psychic ability, which you share with THREE OTHER CHUMPS, due to their lack of physical strength and superiority on the HEMOSPECTRUM. They all have FOOLISHLY DESIRED OCCUPATIONS, despite the fact that when they reach adulthood, they're all going to be forced into slavery, the kind in which their blood colors are associated with. You have no such delusions, even if Marianna has all but assured you, you ARE MEANT FOR GREATER THINGS. Clearly, she's in denial, as you have assured _her_ many times. Sometimes, you have little patience for your IDIOTIC FRIENDS, and even less for your IDIOTIC MUTUAL FRIENDS who pester you even though YOU'VE NEVER MET ANY OF THEM FORMALLY. Your trolltag is motherKoala and you speak in a manner that is sarcastically proper and important, though what your saying is normally none of those things. At the moment, you are further in time than the other trolls we met a while ago. I'm not even going to humor you by asking what you're going to do, because we are switching back to our hardly significant cliffhanger. If you are so generous to refer to it as such.

You are now the other troll girl. You woke up a few minutes ago, and we tragically missed the scene you made when you discovered your NII-SAN messing with your husktop. He tends to log in as you and prank the CHUMPS YOU DO NOT SHARE. Namely, the guys he does not approve of you talking to, which there are assuredly plenty. He is a bit too overprotective of you, but then again, he's too overprotective of all of his female friends. Except Sydney. Sydney can more than handle herself, so there's no need to worry about her. But sometimes you're concerned when she doesn't believe your psychic visions that foretell her and your and Nii-San's and a troll we have yet to meet's ascension to greatness. She's a bit cynical, not believing Nii-San's chump's accident and many other important events that have transpired.

You are dragged out of your narrative stupor when there's a knock on your door. It's probably him again, trying to justify why he did what he did, and it's only because he cares about you and, blah, blah, blah. Quite frankly, you just want to get that game A TROLL WE HAVE YET TO MEET has been so excited about out of the way. You decide to pester THIS TROLL.

hopelessAuthor [HA] began pestering no-tricksSiren [NS]

HA: H_e_y, _N_S, _w_h_e_n _a_r_e_ w_e_ g_o_i_n_g _t_o _g_e_t_ t_h_i_s_ g_a_m_e_ u_n_d_e_r_w_a_y_? I _h_a_v_e _a_l_l _t_h_e _c_o_n_t_r_o_l_l_e_r_s _c_h_a_r_g_e_d_._

NS: No, it's not like that It's a game for the husktop(quarter note that FF ate) Sorry, I should've been more clear on that (eighth note that FF ate) But I'm still coming over there, right§

HA: _D_e_f_i_n_i_t_e_l_y_!_ A_n_d _I_ s_t_i_l_l _c_a_n_'_t_ b_r_e_a_t_h_ u_n_d_e_r_w_a_t_e_r_, s_o_ i_f_ w_e_ w_a_n_t_ t_o_ b_e_ a _t_e_a_m, _i_t _h_a_s_ t_o_ b_e_ a_t_ m_y_ p_l_a_c_e.

HA: _B_u_t_ d_o_n'_t_ w_o_r_r_y, _I_'m _p_r_e_t_t_y _s_u_r_e _G_N'_s_ g_o_i_n_g _o_v_e_r _E_B'_s_ h_i_v_e_, s_o_ y_o_u _w_o_n_'t _h_a_v_e _t_o _w_o_r_r_y_ a_b_o_u_t _h_i_m_.

NS: I'm actually fine with him being there(eighth note) But I guess if he was we couldn't be a team(clever quarter note "...")

HA: _J_u_s_t _w_o_n_d_e_r_i_n_g_…_d_o _y_o_u _k_n_o_w _w_h_o _D_R_'s _g_o_i_n_g _t_o _b_e _p_l_a_y_i_n_g _w_i_t_h_?

NS: Oh, oh, oh(eighth note) Now I know why you pestered me(eigth note)

HA: O_h_ m_y_ g_l_o_b_, N_S,_ j_u_s_t_ s_h_u_t_ u_p_.

HA: J_u_s_t_ s_h_u_t_ u_p_ a_n_d _t_e_l_l _m_e.

NS: Mmmmmmm(eight note)

HA: _W_h_a_t _a_r_e _y_o_u _d_o_i_n_g _n_o_w?

NS: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm(eighth note)

HA: W_h_a_t_?

NS: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm(eighth note)

HA: Go _a_h_e_a_d_ a_n_d _s_a_y_ t_h_e _p_u_n_c_h_l_i_n_e_ a_l_r_e_a_d_y.

NS: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm(eighth note)

HA: G_o_s_h_ s_o_m_e_t_i_m_e_s _o_u_r _M_o_r_a_i_l_i_g_i_e_n_c_e _m_u_s_t_ m_e_a_n_ no_t_h_i_n_g _t_o _y_o_u._

NS: I'm trying to tell you and just shut up at the same time(quarter note) It doesn't appear to be working :/

NS: WHAT DO I DO, MARIANNA, WHAT DO I DO§(eighth note) §(eighth note) §(eighthnote) §(eighth note) §(eighth note) § (eighth note)§ (eighth note)§(8 note) § (8 note) §(8 note) §

HA: Y_o_u _s_h_u_t _u_p.

HA: _A_n_d _t_e_l_l_ m_e _w_h_o.

HA: B_e_s_t _c_o_u_r_s_e _o_f_ a_c_t_i_o_n, _b_y_ f_a_r.

no-tricksSiren [NS] ceased pestering hopelessAuthor [HA]

HA: M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_MM_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_!_!_!

no-tricksSiren[NS] began pestering hopelessAuthor [Ha]

NS: The 16th and 17th M's are both italicized(quarter note)

no-tricksSiren [NS] ceased pestering hopelessAuthor [HA]

HA: UGHHHHHH!

Sometimes that girl is so frustrating, it makes you forget about your extravagantly flamboyant and voluminous voice and you just have to scream at her. Though she's the best moirail a girl could ask for, you guess. You mean, she's there for you a lot and all that jazz, but sometimes…

She should be here any minute thanks to her fast lusus. You can freely yell at her then. But in the meantime, why don't you retrieve your arms?

Please?

Thanks.

While you're doing that, let's go check on the Brandon character.

You can't check on the Brandon character, because you are too busy currently _being_ the Brandon character. And while you are being the Brandon character, you are also busy stealing Marianna's husktop and using it while she tries to retrieve the arms you already stole from her room. You're kind of tricky and can't be trusted like that. You're currently chatting up A TROLL THAT HAS YET TO BE FORMALLY INTRODUCED.

gleekNarutard [GN] began pestering escandonBookworm [EB]

GN: HEY. we HAVE to TALK. we Must.

EB: N*t in the m**d, Brand*n.

GN: WHAT do THE heck DO you MEAN?

EB: Did you erase that then type it *ut again? Because it d*esn't make any sense.

GN: eh. WHATevER. you KNOW what I'm TALKing ABout. THIS is THAT "polite" WARNing YOU told ME to GIVE you BEfore I crash YOUR hive UNanNOUNced.

EB: But if y*u're telling me, it's n*t unann*unced. And what f*r again? I f*rg*t.

GN: THAT game Ns WAS so HYPed UP abOUT.

EB: *h, yeah. Well, whatever. Sh*w up whenever y*u want. The later the better.

GN: D:{

EB: What? Y*ur h*rns d*n't l**k like that.

GN: NOT my HORNs. THEY're MY furROWed browS. sydNEY says IT LOOKs LIKE a KICKed PUPpy. :|

EB: What's a puppy?

GN: AnothER one OF her MADE-up CREatureS. i don'T know, BUT it PISSes ME off.

EB: Hey, y*u kn*w when I menti*ned later?

GN: Yeah? THE later THE betTER, the STATEment THAT was QUITE rude. ]:\ (THAT time, THOSE were MY hornS.)

EB: Well, speaking *f it again…

EB: Later.

escandonBookworm [EB] ceased pestering gleekNarutard [GN]

GN: RUDE.

THE TROLL THAT HAS YET TO MAKE A NARRATIVE APPEARANCE is so rude sometimes. She doesn't get that you were respecting her wishes by pestering before showing up. She should've noticed that it was kind of you to listen to her. Whatever. Might as well log in as Marianna and pester some punks.

hopelessAuthor [HA] began pestering deviantDoctor[DD]

HA: OH my GOSH, dD, i heard ABout WHAT happENed LAST night!

DD: I know it's you, Brandon_

DD: Stop being an idiot and give Marianna back her husktop_

HA: WHAT? I'm MARIANNA.

DD: Yeah, no_ Next time you try to pull this crap, try to type with her weird italics thing, and not your stupid syllable emphasis_

DD: Like, everyone knows it's you and it never works_

HA: YOU're NOT evEN goING to TRY and DENY it?

HA: very MAture of YOU, dD.

HA: that WAS not SARcasm.

DD: I don't want to block her, but I will if you keep this up_

HA: BUT why? LAST night WAS unDENIable.

deviantDoctor [DD] blocked hopelessAuthor [HA]

Let's be the other troll, now shall we?

Yeah, okay. I'm not even going to ask. I'm going to flat-out tell you. Your name is LAUREN BLOUNT. Though you are a Taurus, for the lack of Gemini people I'd like to insert in this, you have HONEY BLOOD. And with it, cool psychic powers. And with that, are your INTERESTS. You like SCREAMO MUSIC, and are not ashamed to proclaim so, even though it is FROWNED UPON in Alternian society. Your CHUMPS, of course, don't mind it. Which is kind of cool you guess, even though one of them is next in line for the thrown, and that should really bother him. Huh. COOL. You love WICKED COOL CARTOONS THAT WERE CANCELED DUE TO GORE AND CRITICAL RECEPTION FROM THE TARGETED AGE GROUP. Well, one wriggler's NIGHTMARE, is another LAUREN'S CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT. You have a SCENE FASHION SENSE, even though SYDNEY rebukes you for this on many occasions. And despite the IMMUTABLE FACT that all trolls have black hair, you've died the bangs and higher layers the same color of your BLOOD, because while others would hide the evidence of their low footing on the HEMOSPECTRUM, you like to embrace it with OPEN, STRANGLING ARMS. You have a mythical lusus named BELLA, who doesn't DO MUCH AS FAR AS BEING YOUR CUSTODIAN. You use your mental abilities for EVIL, but no one has ever CHEWED YOU OUT FOR IT. You like to use an updated Trollian application called Kype, which requires a webcam to work the two-way viewport that doubles as a PROTEIN CHUTE for VERBAL COMMUNICATION. You also have a variety of SECRETS NO ONE MUST EVER KNOW ABOUT. You keep them in an UNLOCKED DIARY open on your respiteblock floor for SAFETY PRECAUTIONS. Your trolltag is laRawren and you talk in a way that is totes herb-an hipsterrrr.

What will you do?

You would Kype your teammate about that game NS wants everyone to play, but you're going to have to downgrade to talk to her.

laRawren [LR] began pestering crazyGuitarist [CG]

LR: Heyy! Psyched for NS's gammmmme?

CG: Not sure what it is actually. (her typing quirk got eaten by FF as well, just roll with it.)

LR: Well, whatever it is, you and me, gurrrrrrl. That's the winning team.

CG: Oh, yeah, totally. We're just that amazing.

LR: I can feel it in their impressionable minds. They're scared of usss.

CG: Yeah, I'm not going to doubt you on that one. They are. I know they are.

LR: Yessss. Yes, they are.

CG: I completely agree.

LR: Could you agree anymore?

CG: No. I couldn't agree more.

LR: Yesss. So. Should I go over there, or do you want to come here?

CG: Actually, the old goat's acting up again. I kind of need to stay here, so it'd be better if you came.

CG: If that's okay with you.

LR: It's fine. On my way.

laRawren [LR] ceased pestering crazyGuitarist [CG]

All of the sudden, you are another troll.

Guess what your name is?

Okaayyy…I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that. Your name is MARTHA ESCANDON. Your INTERESTS include many frivolous activities, such as READING. Honestly, that's one of the only pass-times you can tolerate anymore. It's the only thing you've been consistent in for the longest time. You're a bit FLAKEY IN YOUR INTERESTS, but reading is just one of those magical things. You are a GREENBLOOD, as you constantly remind a certain rustblooded boy you know to be a bit too OVERPROTECTIVE. Though you don't have any psychic abilities, you more than make up for it in physical strength, as you hunt other lusii for sport. It really is FROWNED UP in Alternian society, but, of course, your CHUMPS DON'T MIND. Even though one is first in line for the thrown and it really should bother him. Huh. COOL. Your trolltag is escandonBookworm and you talk in a way that is half deadpan, half hum*r*us.

What will you do?

Already have them?

Okay, then. Next troll?

No, that is most definitely NOT your name. I think I'd know Willa Holland if I saw her.

Your name is ALYSSA OLVERA and you have many INTERESTS. You love to dance and wish to make a career of it when you reach adulthood, which, thanks to the rarity of your JADEBLOOD, is attainable despite most greenbloods' status of commoner. Man, that sentence was worded POORLY. You are flushed for GB, and though it is unclear to your friends whether you have told him or not, it is almost certain he is NOT INTERESTED IN A MATESPRIT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. He always seems to be flushed for PRACTICALLY EVERYONE BESIDES YOU AND THE HEIR. He is always SPORADICALLY FLUSHED FOR ONE PERSON OR ANOTHER. It really makes you wish you could JUST GET OVER HIM BECAUSE HECK IF THAT ISN'T PATHETIC, and while you're sure the new goofy hair cut he got is just to spite you, it kind of helps. You enjoy writing lyrics that DON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE and singing them out loud at the most inopportune times. You also do a little fictitious modeling on the side, which you like to brag about constantly. Your trolltag is dancingWaters and you speak in a (very) (high) (pitch) (manner).

What will you do?

After you're done with silly, fictitious modeling, we're going to go ahead and move on to another troll.

What's this punk's name?

Despite what you insist, your name is ELIZABETH KIMBELL. You are generally COOL, but borderline ANNOYING sometimes. You have some interests, I guess. Most of which are APOP (Alternian pop music), and repeating the words pon pon pon pon PON. You enjoy Vocaloid, even though it DOESN'T EXIST IN YOUR UNIVERSE. Your blood is teal, and you are as high as you can go on the hemopsectrum without being A RAGING LUNATIC MASS MURDERER PYSCHO. On the surface, you seem KIND OF ANNOYING, but you are KIND OF AN AWESOME FRIEND AND ALWAYS HAVE YOUR CHUMP'S BACK WHEN IT MATTERS AND KNOW HOW TO HANDLE EXTREME SITUATIONS. Your trolltag is elizaEstheim and you speak in a tone that just **automatically ticks everyone off**. You have a relationship with BRANDON that could be considered BLACKROM, but is really just a form of platonic rivalry that I shall be butchering in this fan fiction. That is why this is considered revenge and all of another sudden, we're moving onto a different troll.

Save it.

Your name is JOHN ISBELL, you are not fooling me this time. You have a variety of interests, all of which consist of LICKING PEOPLE'S ARMS. You are also almost always SPORADICALLY FLUSHED FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT THE JADEBLOOD AND THE HEIR. I mean, she's a cool friend and ALL, but you'd rather keep things where they are. And you think THE HEIR is the biggest douchebag to have ever lived and you vomit at the very idea of ANY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, KISMESIS OR OTHERWISE with him. You have a sense of humor that is BORDERLINE INSANE, and like Sydney, you tend to dream up things that DO NOT EXIST IN YOUR UNIVERSE, namely GERMAN CULTURE. You also enjoy many books that all of your CHUMPS of course also enjoy. A few titles are THE ONE WHERE THE BEGINNING STARTS OUT WITH AN INTRODUCTION OF A DEAD MAN LUSUS AND A POST-APOCOLYPTIC SETTING OF AMERICA WHICH DOESN'T EXIST CALLED PANEM ETC, ETC, ETC, and THE ONE WHERE A BOY LIVES UNDER A PAIR OF STAIRS, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, HE IS A WIZARD, ETC, ETC, ETC. When all of your friends JUST SHOW UP to watch a movie, it is normally in FLARPING attire. Your trolltag is germanBoy and you speak in a fl1msy manner that almost every1 enjoys. Oh, yeah, blood color…Cerulean, I think. Yeah. We're done with you now.

Who's this troll?

Your name is MARY MASSUCCI and that is not how your last name is spelled, probably. You are NOT ASIAN, because what even is that? You enjoy YAOI, even though your romance system is supposed to be NON-GENDER-ORIENTATED. You like to DRAW and are GOOD AT IT TOO. So good it keeps you from acting like a COMPLETE RAGING LUNATIC MASS MURDERING PSYCHO, which you would be on the account of your NOBLE BLUE BLOOD. You are obsessed with DOCTOR BLUE, a TV show about a blueblooded alien who time travels in a blue phone booth. You still enjoy it, even if you can't grasp the idea of a PHONE BOOTH, because what even is that? You would like another TV show called Merlin, but I unfortunately cannot come up with a troll pun for that. So instead you like THAT SO CRAVIN', a show about a frisky blueblood like yourself and her two friends living in a world called HIGH SCHOOL trying to mask the urge (or crave) her psychic powers, which are unusual for her blood type, cause. You also enjoy drawing FANART for BATTALIA, an anime that — I don't want to explain that pun. It's kind of stupid. 0u0 Your trolltag is deviantDoctor and you talk in a way that leaves everyone hanging_

What will you do?

Skip to the next troll? I thought you'd never ask.

Hello? What's your name?

KAITLIN BRIGMAN? Excellent. Thanks for the straight answer. I mean, like, wow. That was…unexpected. I really appreciate it. Just like you appreciate the beautiful SOUND OF STRING INSTRUMENTS AT WORK. Or AT PLAY. Either is FINE. You have very refined tastes in the fine arts, and can appreciate their high-class elements thanks to your PURPLEBLOOD. You are as high as you can go on the HEMOSPECTRUM without being a TOTAL FISH WEIRDO MUTANT. You are quite the SATIRIST and love to pretend along with BRANDON and SYDNEY that you are simply THE BEST THERE IS. And indeed, YOU ARE. But in contrast to their palpably false shenanigans, you are very close to being what you flippantly tell people. You like your rustblooded friends the best, but still see yourself as higher than they are because HECK IF PROPAGANDA ISN'T A POWERFUL THING. You're working on it, though, since THE HONEYBLOOD is your MOIRAIL. Your trolltag is crazyGuitarist and you speak in a way that was eaten by FF, sorry.

And we're moving on.

No.

NO.

That is NOT your name!

Your name is ABIGAIL MIXON and you have a lot of INTERESTS. You enjoy awesome CARTOONS, ANIMES, and VIDEO GAMES. You normally go to MARIANNA's hive to play though, considering that most consoles don't work underwater. You buy them and stash them at her house because she CAN'T AFFORD THEM. Most of your sleepovers consist of TWILIGHT PRINCESS, FABLE III, and AN ANIME OF YOUR CHOOSING. Your get-togethers are pretty NERDY LIKE THAT. You also enjoy reading her manuscripts, even the ones she wrote when she was TEAR-WORTHY TERRIBLE AT IT. You're kind of SUPPORTIVE like that. Who knows WHY. Your favorite is LUCIANICA'S SERVANT and you are constantly hounding her for updates even though she's busy trying to get the FIRST BOOK IN THE SERIES PUBLISHED. If it wasn't OBVIOUS BEFORE, she is your MOIRAIL and the only quadrant you've succeeded in finding a match in. You had a matesprit once. Both of you would RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT. You play a VARIETY OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, including your own vocal chords, and are notably PHENOMENAL AT IT. You try to draw sometimes, but even with tips you're still notably NOT THAT EXCEPTIONAL. You are a bit SENSITIVE, and when you have to cancel a plan with someone you expect them to SHATTER INTO A MILLION PIECES, and proceed to apologize profusely. You are a euphorically FREE SPIRIT, and tend to explore your aquatic neighborhood in a POCAHONTAS MUSICAL MONTAGE FASHION. Everyone likes to stop and LISTEN TO YOUR AMAZING FREE-HAND MUSIC, because you're KIND OF A BIG DEAL LIKE THAT. You make them wonder WHAT IS JUST AROUND THE RIVERBEND? No one sings along, though, because you're also thought out to be a LOVEABLE FREAK LIKE THAT AS WELL. And if it wasn't PAINFULLY OBVIOUS, you are a rich purple-blood, the highest you can go on the HEMOSPECTRUM without being THE HEIR. Your trolltag is no-tricksSiren and your voice is very melodious and pure sounding(quarter note) You're also that troll who's so psyched about that game. It's a constant in every session to have one of those. No big sweat.

What will you — and oh my gosh suddenly you are THE HEIR.

What is your name?

_AN:_

_Oh my gosh, fake cliffhanger. _


End file.
